Leaving
by elwoodluver00034
Summary: Pacey needs to get away from Joey but the repercussions will leave Joey in a horrible depression that will make people come to terms with their greatest fears and regrets. WARNING: character death in later chapters.
1. Messy Breakup

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, storylines or settings. I have no affiliation with the WB network. So don't sue me 'cause you won't get anything!

Summary: Pacey needs to get away from Joey but the repercussions will leave Joey in a horrible depression that will make people come to terms with their greatest fears and regrets.

Chapter 1- Messy breakup

Pacey had just left Joey's life for good. She didn't know how to deal with her pain and sorrow. She tried so hard to hang on but was turned down again and again.

"Why Pacey! Why!" She couldn't hold back her tears anymore.

"I don't know Jo! I don't know anything right now." His last sentence turned into a whisper.

"But Pace! I would do ANYTHING for you. You know… I would give up college, stay here with you, ANYTHING! PLEASE PACEY! I can't live without you. I just can't." She couldn't finish her sentence; it was too painful for words.

Pacey could see the sorrow in her eyes and it killed him to hurt her so bad.

"Did you ever love me? Were you just in it for sex?" There was a pause but she didn't let him answer.

"How could you do this to me!"

"Of course I loved you. How could you even think that it was about sex! You know that I had more feelings for you than that!"

"'H…had'?" Joey was hanging on for dear life at this point.

"Yes Jo 'had' as in no longer there."

"But how can you just… ju…" she couldn't even finish her sentence; she was too choked up. What was she without him? Nothing. That's all she was… nothing. But she knew that she was fighting a lost battle that would never see the light of day without bloodshed.

"I'm sorry Jo. You have to believe me when I say that I never wanted to hurt you." He said it with so much sincerity and sadness.

"I know, I do Pace, I do, but it still hurts just the same. I love you with my whole being and have never doubted my love for a second. It doesn't matter if you meant not to hurt me Pace, it will always hurt."

"Believe me, I know." Hurting Joey was breaking his heart but he had no choice, there was nothing left for them. They both knew that they couldn't handle a long distance relationship and the temptation for other relationships would tear them apart anyway.

"I'm so, so sorr—"

"Pace, it's okay, it is, I understand where you're coming from but I need to be honest with you hear. I have nothing without you. My life has no meaning to me without you. I-I can't live without you Pace!" The tears were coming at full force at this point.

"Jo…"

"No Pacey. You've stepped on my heart long enough. I don't think I can take much more of this. I mean, hearing you say it's over again and again and say sorry is just too gut wrenching. If you say sorry one more time I will just die right here and now and never bother you again. Is that what you want Pace? I'm serious here, do you want me to leave your life so you don't have to deal with me anymore?"

"Of course not! I just thought…"

"Please don't explain. I don't want to hear it. But could you just do one thing for me before we part ways for good?"

"F…for good?" Pacey didn't want to never speak or see Jo again. He just wanted to end the relationship. He treasured their friendship. Ever since he had soiled things with Dawson, Joey was his only best friend.

"Yes Pace, for good. Maybe in two years you can get over the fact that we used to be lovers but when we see each other I can't. Even if I'm dating or married or getting over someone else, my love for you will always be there, always be strong in me. So what I'm asking you is for my last memory of us to be a kiss. Not a peck but not a make-out, a kiss that would sum up everything we've been through, good and bad, big and small. Please Pace, that's all I ask and I'll be out of your life for good I swear."

Pacey really couldn't object to her request. The hard part would be letting her go though. Just the thought of never getting to see her smile, or look at him, or hold him or kiss him was unbearable. He didn't want it to end for good.

"Of course I would do that for you Jo." He whispered in a futile attempt to keep his tears away.

They leaned in one final time. Each kiss became more deep and passionate. It was bitter sweet. It was the most meaningful kiss of their relationship and it certainly felt that way. After a minute or so they finally pulled away. They peered into eachothers eyes before Joey leaned in again to his ear and whispered, almost not wanting him to hear.

"I love you Pace; forever and for always. You will always have me."

"Why do you have to make this so hard Potter?" Her last sentence made him rethink everything in a second but he couldn't back down now. It was over and there was nothing left to say.

"It's a special talent of mine, I thought you of all people would be accustomed to it by now." They chuckled and hugged each other one last time.

"Goodbye Pacey."

"'Bye Potter."

They each went their separate ways and that was the end of a major chapter in their lives.

Reviews are greatly appreciated. I will update in a day or so. Thank you for reading my fic!


	2. Still In Love

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, storylines or settings. I have no affiliation with the WB network. So don't sue me 'cause you won't get anything!

Chapter 2- Still in love

Joey had just got back from her heartbreaking breakup with Pacey. She sat on her bed and cried. She wouldn't come out of her room for days. She had found herself slumped into a deep depression. Bessie had tried to pick her back up again but she failed, time after time after time.

She would find scraps of paper that Joey had written on saying how much she wanted to die and that nothing was worth living for without Pacey. She had withdrawn from Worthington, knowing that the memory of Pacey would always linger there.

She got a job at a local grocery store and tried to piece back any scraps of life she still had left. Bessie was tired of this depression and she knew that there was only one person that could ever pull her out of it. She had to talk to Pacey.

"Hello?" It was 3:00 a.m. in the Creek when Pacey answered his phone.

"Hey, Pace?" A familiar voice came out the other end of the phone.

"Bessie? What are you doing up at 3?"

"Sorry to call so late but it's about Joey."

"Oh…" Pacey wanted to hang up but decided to give Bess a chance.

"She's a wreck Pace. She withdrew from Worthington…"

"She What? Why! When?" Pacey was shocked and upset. Joey had worked so long for this he couldn't understand how she could give it up. Another thing that crossed his mind was that the main reason they split was because of the distance. She had told him that she would give it up for him but he just couldn't believe that she meant it.

"Ya. She's been in a horrible depression ever since you two broke up. She tells me that she dropped out because it would remind her too much of you. She works at a grocery store and whenever she's not there she's in her room laying on her bed either crying, watching TV, or both."

"Oh my G-d. This is horrible Bess."

"It gets worse… G-d, I don't know how this happened but it did… Pace… she's suicidal."

"What!" Pacey didn't realize that Jo would take this so hard.

"Yes. When she's at work I go through her room and find notes that she's written saying how there is no life worth living without Pacey Witter involved somehow. She's a mess Pace. You have to help me. I'm scared I might lose the one thing I've been holding on to so hard to keep. Please help me Pacey. Please."

Pacey was so shocked. He had no idea that her life was so revolved around him and their relationship. He was really worried about her now. There was only one answer he could give Bessie.

"Of course I will Bess, I mean she is the love of my life…. oh SHIT!" Pacey didn't mean to say that last sentence. He didn't want to admit it to himself, especially when someone was there as witness. He couldn't help but say it though, it was the truth and he could never deny his feelings for her, no matter what. No matter _how_ hard he tried to tell him there was nothing there, there would always be something.

"I am?" a new voice had come into the conversation.

"Jo! What are you doing on the phone?" Pacey was so confused at the point.

"I had a feeling Bessie was going to call you and I needed to hear your voice if even for one second and I knew you would hang up on me so I decided to listen in."

"Jo, is it true that you dropped out of Worthington because of me?"

"Well, yes. But it was mostly me. That would be the last place to escape you. I needed to get over you Pace. How could I do that when Worthington would always be wrapped around you?"

"Jo, you shouldn't have given up Worthington because we're over. It's your dream to go there. You said yourself that you had never wanted anything so bad in your life."

"I lied. There is only on thing that I've ever wanted and that is you Pace. I still want you; still love you. Forever Pace, it's that real for me.

"Jo, don't make this any harder than it has to be."

"But you said yourself that I'm the love of your life. And now that Worthington is out of the picture we could stay here together and make a life for ourselves. We could be happy Pacey. We could be happy again." Her last sentences turned into whispers.

"Jo, it's not that simple."

"Why not? I love you, you love me, what's the problem."

"It doesn't work that way, I'm sorry Jo." He hung up the phone before she could say anything else.

"Pace? Pacey!" She hung up the phone and slumped back down onto to her bed crying so hard she felt dehydrated.

"Why does he hate me so much? What did I do wrong! WHY DID HE LEAVE ME!" Joey pushed her face into her pillow as all of her tears flowed out damping the pillow severely.

At this point Bessie was already in Joey's room massaging her back, trying to comfort her, but to no avail.

"He did what he thought was best Jo, you can't ask for more than that."

"KNOCK! KNOCK!"

"Who would that be at this time of night?" Bessie got up and went to the door to see Dawson smiling at her.

"Hey Bess, is Joey here? I thought I'd pay her a surprise visit. I know that it's spring break so I thought I'd check here before going to Worthington."

"O Lord." This was getting to messy to repeat all over again, especially to Dawson who didn't even know that Pacey dumped Joey.

Reviews are greatly appreciated. I will update in a day or so. Thank you for reading my fic!


	3. Regrets

Sorry for not updating sooner. If you want me to keep updating then please review. It's very encouraging! Thanks!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, storylines or settings. I have no affiliation with the WB network. So don't sue me 'cause you won't get anything!

Chapter 3- Regrets

"What's wrong Bess?" Dawson wasn't expecting this as his welcome.

"Nothing… everything…" Bessie was trailing off into a world of her own when she noticed that Dawson was still at her doorstep.

"Oh, sorry. Yes, Joey's here, come in I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable on the couch." Bessie put on a fake smile and headed to Joey's room.

"Jo?" Bessie opened Joey's room. She was still on her bed crying.

"Why does he hate me so much Bess? What did I do wrong? I mean all I did was love him!" She was crying even more.

"Why does who hate you Jo?" Dawson had heard the crying and he got up to investigate.

"I'll be in the other room." Bessie wanted to get out of there fast. Things were about to get ugly.

"Jo? What's going on?" Dawson felt lost. He was not only on a different page, but different book too. He walked into the room and sat on the foot of her bed

"Oh. Hey Dawson." Joey grabbed onto him and hugged him as if she let go he would disappear, but that didn't stop her from crying more.

"Jo just tell me, what's wrong?"

"It's just… nothing… it's nothing Dawson." Joey felt so safe in Dawson's arms, like he was always going to be there to help pick up the pieces.

"This is _not_ nothing Jo. Just tell me dammit!" Dawson was very eager, he didn't want to be in the dark anymore.

"It's just that… well… Pacey… he… kind of broke up with me and crushed my heart in the process." Joey buried her head in his shoulders as a new batch of tears came. She was far from getting over Pacey, if ever.

"Is that true Jo? Did Pacey break your heart?" Dawson was filling up with rage towards Pacey. Not only had he taken Joey from him but now he had to crush her and ruin her.

"Yes Dawson. It's true…" She was so quiet that Dawson could barely hear.

"I'll be right back Jo. I have to go do something." All you could see was rage in Dawson's eyes; rage towards Pacey. How _dare_ he do this? HOW _DARE_ HE?

"Okay. But Dawson…"

"Yeah Jo?"

"Please come back? I _really_ need you."

"Of course I will Joey… see you soon." And with that Dawson left in pursuit of Pacey.

Dawson sped over to Pacey's house and stopped the car abruptly. He slammed the door and stomped up to Pacey door and banged on his door waking him up from his slumber.

Pacey opened the door very surprised to see Dawson.

"Dawson, what are you doing here?"

"Well, I came back to see Joey over spring break only to find her in pieces with a broken heart which you just _had_ to break."

"What is your problem Dawson? We just don't work okay?"

"No it's not okay. It is never okay to do that to Joey. To _my_ Joey."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what it means Pacey. Joey is _mine_, you just stepped in and ruined it and now she will never be the same Joey Potter again. You've broken her. She will _never_ be the same."

"Mind your own business Dawson." Pacey tried to close the door but was stopped by an angry Dawson wanting revenge.

"Oh but this _is_ my business." And just like that, Pacey was on the ground after Dawson had punched him.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?" Pacey was really mad now, seeing the blood from his mouth and nose.

"YOU ARE MY PROBLEM PACEY! YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN!"

They were in the middle of a fight when guess who? Joey came to break up the fight.

"What are you guys doing? Dawson, get off of him!" She pulled Dawson away long enough for her to get in the middle of them.

"Jo move!" Dawson was ready to tear Pacey to shreds.

"NO! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR STUPID FIGHTING OVER ME!" She just stared at them then began again, much quieter.

"I told you once and I'll tell you again. No one person is worth this; especially not me."

After this proclamation Joey found herself unable to keep herself up and fell to ground. But before she hit Pacey had grabbed onto her.

"Jo are you alright?" Pacey was so close to her. She hadn't been this close since they broke up. She wanted to kiss him so badly, to have everything be back to normal.

"I'm fine Pace. It's just… well, I don't eat very much. I'm not all that hungry. And I don't drink very much too. I haven't had a decent meal since…" she couldn't bring herself to say it but everyone knew; since the breakup. She was a wreck.

"You should rest. You can crash here on the couch for tonight."

Dawson just looked on in awe. How can too people who have just broken up show so much compassion for one another? He didn't get it.

"I think I'm just gonna go back to the B&B and sleep there. Are you sure you'll be alright Joey?" Dawson was very concerned for Joey. She was his everything.

"Yeah. I'll be fine. Thanks."

"Don't mention it." He showed a small smile and made his way back to his car and made his way back the B&B.

After Dawson left the only people that were left was Pacey and Joey. They were so close to each other. They didn't know how to act around one another. Joey decided to end the silence.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Reviews are greatly appreciated. I will update in a day or so. Thank you for reading my fic!

Sorry for such a short update but the more reviews the shorter time you have to wait!


	4. Never Enough

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, storylines or settings. I have no affiliation with the WB network. So don't sue me 'cause you won't get anything!

Chapter 4 – Never Enough

Pacey and Joey looked into each other's eyes unable to say a word. Joey decided to end the silence with one word…

"Hi."

"Hi."

There was more staring and looking until Joey unwillingly removed herself form Pacey's grasp.

"So…"

Pacey didn't know what to say to her. I mean… she knew that he still loved her… what was she planning to do?

"So…"

Joey didn't know how to end the awkwardness. All she wanted to do was jump into his arms and never escape their grip. But she knew she couldn't do that because he didn't want her anymore. I mean sure he _loved_ her but he didn't _want_ her. And without both all you have is… nothing. Her eyes brimmed with tears as she realized that they could never be together. It stung her in a place that she never knew existed. It was too much for her. She _needed_ him and he didn't and it killed her all the more.

Pacey wanted to end this awkwardness just as much as Joey did. All he wanted to do was take back everything he said to her. He wanted to be with her so badly. But he knew he blew it. He could never get her back. He knew that she would never let him back in. No matter how much he just wanted to take her into his arms and melt there with her… he couldn't. The time to take it all back was long past… but G-d how he needed her. He needed every inch of her. But she would never know… ever.

"Well… I'm gonna go get some blankets for you."

"Okay."

Joey's voice quavered a bit but she didn't want to show her weakness so quickly turned away from his stare. She made her way over to the couch and sat down and began to remember all of the good times they had together. She missed them so much… walking hand-in-hand with him… kissing him… hugging him… snuggling with him… saying 'I love you' back and forth…

She was taken out of her reminiscing as Pacey entered the room. Joey quickly wiped away and tears that may have appeared.

Pacey handed the blankets to Joey and decided to go to his room and avoid all of this uneasiness.

"Pace?"

"Yeah Potter?"

Pacey was nervous. He didn't know what she was going to say.

"I love you. Just… always know that."

Pacey didn't know how to react to that so decided to just say the first thing that came to mind.

"Love you too Potter. I always will."

Joey couldn't stop the threatening tears anymore. This was killing her so much. They both loved each other but couldn't be together. It was a horrible world.

"Well… goodnight Jo. I'll take you home in the morning if you want."

"No… that's okay… I drove my car here and I don't want you to walk back… unless…"

Joey blushed slightly. She really wanted to be with him as much as possible.

"Unless what?"

Pacey was looking at her expectantly.

"Unless… unless you don't mind walking back."

Joey let out a light smile knowing that he would never accept.

"I don't mind Jo."

Joey's face lighted up and she let out one of her classic smiles that broke Pacey's heart all over again. That smile wasn't his anymore… _she_ wasn't his anymore. And she never would be again.

"'Night Pace."

Joey walked over to Pacey and kissed him on the cheek before whispering…

"You'll always have me Pace."

Pacey let a tear slip from his eyes and roll down his cheek until it hit Joey's lips. She quickly kissed the tear away and backed away and smiled before Pacey thought it best he leave before he does something he might regret.

_With a sigh _

_You turn away_

_With a deepening heart_

_No more words to say_

_You will find_

_That the world has changed forever…_

That night was one of the hardest. Pacey had to fight his several urges get out of bed and be with Joey. But he knew he couldn't so he tried to drift off into a pleasant sleep, which had become anything but pleasant…

_And the trees are now_

_Turning form green to gold_

_And the sun is now fading_

_I wish I could hold you closer…_

Reviews are greatly appreciated. I will update in a day or so. Thank you for reading my fic!

Sorry for the short update again! I'll pbly update in a couple days… but if I don't… don't u worry! I will update!

ALSO! The song is Houses of Healing by Liv Tyler (it's in the extended version of the Lord of The Rings: Return of The King) but unfortunately not on the soundtrack. :(


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